can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
