thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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