he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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