i would punch a child for taco bell
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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