You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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