He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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