wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
