Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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