I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
