She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
