if only i could text you this smell
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
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