you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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