My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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