ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize