How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
