There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
