It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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