am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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