So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
