Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
