You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just cropdusted the office
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
NoShamevember. You game?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
