Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
