I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
