First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
