When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
