how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
