i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I could fuck to npr.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
