yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
