nut hugger
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
