I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
