If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
