Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
