guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
