Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
kristin has been a bad kristin
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
