so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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