why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
