It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
