No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
