i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How does it feel to date your dad?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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