shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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