Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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