redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
