You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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