and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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