Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
