I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
then he tried to convert me to islam
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
