K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
