totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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