just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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