I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize