who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
