We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
