i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
