So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
