Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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