Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
