its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
