yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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