I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
