So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
