im drinking this country out of the recession.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
