you're like a bully in the Christmas story
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
