i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
