We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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